It's my birthday...

I can't believe it's the first of April.  A month since I was born!

If I'm honest I was sort of hoping I'd have made a bit more progress by now but the 'one step forward, one step back' game goes on.

Friday was a tough day.  Mum came to see me in the morning and managed to get herself all stressed out.  I was sort of doing OK but the team in here were busy with new arrivals and no-one updated her on my progress.  Then I was a bit sick and nobody noticed and Mum thought I wasn't being monitored properly, and then she had to leave before she really had any answers because she was taking Charlie swimming.  What with all of this she wound herself up into a bit of a state, so by the time she called Dad from the car park she was ready to blub... so she did...  Dad couldn't really understand what she was saying but he figured out enough to realise that his afternoon visit wasn't going to be plain sailing.

It was calm enough to begin with but first thing Dad noticed was my fat belly!  One of the problems with C-PAP is that you have to keep your mouth shut or some of the pressurised air goes straight into your tummy, resulting in the medical condition known as 'C-pap Belly', (it's in the medical dictionary already!). 

The first feed after my dad arrived came straight back so Dad asked if the doctor could take a look before the next one.  The Doctor came along and prodded me for a bit, then listened to my gurgling tummy with his stethoscope, then instructed the nurse to deflate me.  This wasn't the term he used but it's exactly what he meant!  The nurse took my feeding test tube and put it into reverse, literally sucking air out of my tummy.  Dad thought it would be funny to crack a joke about me 'letting myself down' which I quite liked... but nobody else laughed!

The calm before the storm!!

My tummy deflated a bit, but not that much, so I was a bit surprised when the Doctor said we should go on with my next feed.  I managed to get the next seven mils down inside, then I turned over to face Daddy and tried to go to sleep.  Dad took this picture of me just seconds before I chucked up!

This time the fluids from my tummy blocked my airways and before you could say 'Desaturation' I was down at 8% oxygen.  It was a wonderful commotion.  Normally there is just a nurse and an assistant when I need bagging but this time it was like the whole ward joined in.  Dad was slowly edged further and further back until he ended up about ten foot from the bed next to the student nurse who was looking very worried!  My Dad told her not to worry - I was just doing a Poppy!

Anyway, after all these shenanigans they finally decided that I needed a break from all the milk and they put me back on to the intravenous long line.  It took ages for the doctor to find a vein in my arm and when he finally hit one my Dad said that the blood sprayed all over the inside of my incubator!

I'm now on something called TPN or Total Parentatal Nutrition - again this sounds to me like something they use secretly in the Tour de France - and they've reduced my milk to four mils an hour which is much better.  I was weighed earlier today and I'm finally putting on a bit of weight.  I'm now 2 lb 10 oz!

Saturday was a much better day.  I got to see my big sister Millie again and my big brother Charlie.  Thankfully Charlie wasn't wearing his silly green glasses so he didn't embarrass me in front of the other babies...

Asleep on my Mum!

And, I had another brilliant cuddle with Mum... not that I remember much of it - I was fast asleep in a nice cosy pink blanket. I was a bit tired from all the messing around on Friday.  Mum seemed to have calmed down a bit too.  The only problem with having a cuddle was that everyone seemed to forget that I was on a long line as well as the C-Pap, as well as all the other lines that connect me to my monitor, so when it was time to put me back it was like trying to sort out the back of a telly.  There were wires and tubes everywhere!  In the end one of the nurses pushed the third pedal on the bottom of the incubator and the whole thing lifted up like a space ship!  It was so cool.  When I was finally sorted out they lowered it all back on top of me and I shouted out, 'To infinity and beyond!!'  But nobody heard me...

To infinity and Beyond! (Pedal 3)

I was one month old on today so I thought I ought to begin to show some signs of improvement.  Mum phoned this morning and the nurse looking after me told her that she was going to try and take me off C-PAP and put me on to nasal prongs.  Mum was terrified - talk about having no faith in me.  To be fair I guess I haven't had a good track record so far have I?

Despite Mum's worries they went ahead and did it anyway and guess what... I managed to go THREE HOURS breathing for myself.  I mean COMPLETELY breathing for myself!!

Not pretty!  But look at my hair!!
And no C-PAP!!!!

It meant I could take my hat off so Mum could see my face properly for the first time.  Admittedly I'm still not the prettiest thing but at least I could also show off my hair, which I have quite a lot of!

After three hours I was knackered and needed a bit of a rest so I went back on my C-PAP machine but the oxygen was really low and I was still coping brilliantly. 

I think I'm on the mend!!

Dad came in to see me tonight.  He's away at work again from tomorrow so I won't see him now till Friday.  We had a really good hour.  I was so tired I just slept on my tummy under my blanket but Dad stroked my head for me and it was cool.  I think I'm on the mend... I really do.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Lots of love,

Poppy Lola xxx